I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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