Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
