Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
