ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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