he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
