she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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