so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
foreskin is a definite game changer
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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