I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
