I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
