I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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