she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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