you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
