My hand turned me down
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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