I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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