I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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