first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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