What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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