sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize