Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
