she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
