I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
