Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We have started to decorate penises.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
