yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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