Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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