I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There r osticjed everywhere
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize