I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
then he tried to convert me to islam
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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