I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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