You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
