Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
