Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
