Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize