I wish i was in the wii world.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
