so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
