Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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