so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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