I got chris browned last night
My first STD was from a foam party
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
