yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He? As in you personified your dick?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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