Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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