But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
two words: eviction party
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
