Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
