Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so let's talk penis.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
