He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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