We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
