so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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