Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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