Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
