is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
