I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
