And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My cat gives me a boner
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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