32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
