the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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