I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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