I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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