if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
