the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
