i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
