I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
