I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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