just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
