What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Randomize
