If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize